it's 3 am and i just got done writting jay our story from the day we met till now. thats a whole year and 4 months long. im getting tired. i cried so hard when i wrote that story... the things i have done to fuck everything up blah! i hate it. i hate myself for doing things that i regret totally. i swear i am a total screw up at times and it bothers me alot. jay said its ok that he has forgave me. which is good cause if not i dont think i could live anylonger i would kill myself of shame. thats so sad isnt it?
my butt hurts my eyes are all baggy and black cause i need sleep but i want to hear what jay thought. gosh why does time have to fly by so fast? grrrrrrrr i wish valerie would get on aol. brad is a total immature little boy. hes so lame and stupid that its pathetic. i thought he was so different. blah ohh well hes a LOSER!!! today was a weird day actually to many stupid things happened. i saw my uncle today i dont know why i get so excited when i see my uncles. i guess cause they are da best!!!! yay for them. i still have no mail i will continue writting till i get mail. and if i dont get mail i will say goodnight here and tell jay goodnight and go to bed i will give it 5 minutes. i have been reading others live journals very interesting what others think and what they do in there life. i guess us that dont have lives have these stupid journals lol. im getting really nervous about going to NC with jay i dont know what it's gonna be like or anything but i do think its gonna be good for me to get away from this place maybe i wil lcome back with a better attitude thats even if i do come back. well i guess i will go im cold and tired. its about 32 below outside everything is icy hhahaha i do love nights like this but they can suck. byebye for now goodnight Current Mood: blank
haha i think i learned how to use my mood thingie haha i am to cool i tell ya! Current Mood: anxious
I just got done watching a movie.. called Message in a bottle omg i cried my eyes out hahahahahahahahahaha it was funny in a way that i cried so hard over a man dying! anyhow i'm so bored it isnt even funny. i'm glad that noone that i know knows that i have a live journal. Brad hmmmmm weird but i dont even know what was going on last night now watch when he gets on next time if i am on or he is on He will be super nice and i will laugh and say hmm Brad who was being mean to me again your stupid immature friend Mike??? Brad has never ever been mean to me at all ever so i don't believe it was him its just not right. Mike can go to hell if all i care and i will be damn glad if he does. Brad needs to get a new friend Mike= pile of caca hehe well i better go now this isnt really thrilling me at all =) ciao
|21 more days!!!!!
Well today has gone pretty fast i helped my mom put up our christmas tree yay lots of fun haha. I talked to my babes today hes such a sweet guy. he will be home in 21 more days. I woke up so late today not knowing why exactly i did that, I went to bed early. Not usual but it's true. Wow this is my first journal entry and I have not much to talk about so lets see if Anything else happens later ...